The sea really is such a healing place. The vastness of it amazes me. I see sailboats in the distance pass by, and I can’t help but wonder about their journey. About their path.
Oftentimes, even while traveling, I’m wondering what’s next so much that it’s easy to forget how having presence is one of the most important things we can maintain. Or rather, the patience of the present and the process that lies within in.
Some days on this journey I want to take pictures of every beautiful encounter I have throughout the day. Other days I don’t want to go near my camera or phone. I suppose we can call it balance. I like to think of it as looking at the world through different lenses. And honestly, one of the best lenses we are ever going to have the privilege of seeing through is that of our very own eyes.
Something I have noticed is how often people see something beautiful, take a quick snapshot with their phone or camera, and move on. It is a little heartbreaking how often I have seen people completely disregard the moment and rather engage in a snap and go motion. If I’m being real, I honestly hate it. But I’m also an aspiring photographer, so how does that work?
The other day, as my friend and I were reading about a beautiful sculpture at the Vatican Museum in Rome, Italy, we had a couple ask us to move so they could get a photo in front of it. They didn’t even stop to look at or read it, they just wanted the photo. Laughing and looking at the photo on the digital screen, they walked away without a thank you or acknowledgement. Now, they could very well know all there is to know about the piece of art or be in a hurry, but I was shocked.
That moment made me step back and want to stop. To completely disengage from any photos and tune into my own lens. I also realized even more how there is a lack of engagement from a lot of people when a moment is meant for us to truly stop and think. To dig a little deeper and further our perspectives. But patience seems so be a huge issue for a lot of people. Something that is hard with our modern technology and advancement, but I truly believe there is a balance that we can all strive to be better at. A balance I am wanting to be better at myself.
I just finished a long journey to Athens, Greece after waking up at 4:30 am yesterday. A four hour train ride from Rome to Ancona, Italy, a 24 hour ferry to Patras, Greece and a three hour bus ride from Patras to Athens. Throw a few hours of waiting and public transportation in there and we are to our destination. Just like this past 36 plus hour journey, our entire European trip has taken twists and turns - some expected, but mostly unexpected. Sometimes traveling is a lot of waiting, guessing, winging it and ‘we’ll see’ moments. It’s also filled with moments of thrill, laughter, new phrases and many new visions.
Backpacking through Europe and not staying in one single place for longer than four or five days is exhausting. Last night I slept on my yoga mat on the ferry in between the aisles of the seats, waking up every few hours to turn my body and make sure my things were still all around me. Most of our hostels are shit, but we’re on a budget. We have to make do. I can tell you it’s worth it though. We are in our 14th country currently, about to explore its wonders and beauties, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Because every day I feel like it’s making me grow to become a stronger and better person.
There are days I so badly wish I could be in my boyfriend’s arms, cooking with him and being in the comfort of my own space. I can’t wait until I can see my sister next and stay up all night talking about our adventures in between the time we saw each other last. To see how much my brother has healed or get a hug from my mom and hear her funny stories. But this will all come, in due time. Two months of traveling have passed by quicker than I can even wrap my head around. With two months left in my journey, I am feeling the exhaustion, but I am also feeling the excitement again and again, as every day is truly a new adventure.
Three travelers backpacking through Europe has turned into two, and will soon become one when we go separate ways and I take off to head to Bali for a completely different journey.
I have learned that paths change. Perspective changes. And there will always, always be light and dark days no matter if you’re traveling the world or working your ass off. To be patient in the process is always worth it - not always easy, but always important. When we come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world.
Finding Presence
October 2, 2017 Over a month in, and I'm filled with intentions that have seemed to pass by quicker than I have even had time to reflect upon. Not necessarily misled me or sights of beauty beyond my own eyes that have gone unnoticed, but ironically they are moments that I have not written about because I've been so afraid of not being in the moment. It's a hard balance that I have tried to be mindful about. How do you be in the moment, but also take photos and jot ideas down of your days to remember that time accurately in all the years to come? To look back on memories through an image gives a sensation that is truly timeless. But for me it's also a bit of a hypocrisy if I'm claiming to strive towards presence. With it already having been over a month of adventure, I already love looking back on the photos I have taken and been a part of, as I know it's a time I will always remember with appreciation that I took those pictures. But as I am realizing more and more, presence is a balance of all things.
Two friends from college and I have been backpacking to eight countries now - England, Belgium, The Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, Germany, Poland, The Czech Republic, and now on to Austria. With about eight or nine more countries to go and a little less than two more months to endure in Europe, moments of paused sensations have made me dig deep in the moments of inspired thoughts. Something I have been graining so deep it's almost impossible.
It's like love - forcing anything never seems to have the best outcome. But when you least expect it, is when something like love happens the deepest and in the most authentic way. Love is like traveling. A direct correlation to traveling - finding inspiration when you force it, it simply just doesn't do any location or thought process justice. But that is why, a month in, I finally want to share my visions, my memories and my motives. To give a glimpse of the world as I have perceived it.
A dream I have always wanted for myself - get through college so I can travel the world. And here I am, doing just that. But about a week ago, I needed a reminder from the person I look up to the most - my sister. She nudged me to the fact that not all days are roses and golden retrievers - even as much as we want them all to be. There are days filled with PB&J's for every meal, getting stuck and sleeping in a train station in the middle of nowhere Germany for a night, or being on the complete wrong train for that matter. Days when you wake up sick from the mussels in Brussels, or can't sleep because you're in a stuffy hostel room with 40 other people. But then there are the days consumed by chocolate, pizza, wine, and stroop waffles. Ringing in a new age with a bottle of wine in hand and strawberries, paddling under the Charles Bridge. Laughter filled days getting lost in cities on cobblestone streets and admiring the beauty of chipped paint on the multicolored buildings.
There are days mixed and matched with positive and negative sensations about the world. And that's the reality of this journey of life, a true mix of both feelings. I was reminded to touch on all of it, as hard as it might be. Days when I feel like my words don't make sense or my vision is useless. As well as days that I feel so inspired by every passing motion and want to dig deeper with every snapshot.
Control, patience, empathy, confrontation - it's all tested, continuously. Traveling shines the darkest sides through every person at times. But the beauty of traveling, just like love, is that it also shines the absolute brightest sides of someone. That's why it's such a profound notion that everyone takes at different stages, in different patterns, throughout their lives. Something we can grow together through, rather than grow a part.
The journey of life is called a journey for a reason. The highs and lows, darks and lights. We get to heal with the gift of time and flourish with the cycle of growth. And as I personally enter into my own new chapter of my journey, I strive to encourage and learn that inspiration doesn't always come from the sun. It comes from the moon too - way more often than not.