We are always trying to find the answers to things - within ourselves and also in others. But life is a little un-answerable at times, and for reasons that don't necessarily need to be explained right now. Questions can be so broad and repetitive sometimes, how are we supposed to know everything in our life right at this very moment? The theme of questions has been tending to drive me a little nuts recently. What are you doing for your internship? Do you have any boys in your life? Can you see yourself being in New York after you graduate?
Granted, people probably do actually care to ask, but then again maybe they don't and those are the questions that are the status quo of what should be asked. Something I have recognized to be a theme in my life, is that those repetitive questions that people ask me are typically bothersome because they fall in the areas that I am not too concerned with or the most confident in at this point in my life. Why does everyone think that we all need to be in a relationship with someone else to be fully happy? As if being in a relationship is going to tie life all together and all of our problems are going to magically disappear. This is the one that gets me the most. No, I do not have a boyfriend, nor do I have to in order to be fully content with my life. I am in a serious relationship with myself right now, a time in my life where I can and need to be selfish sometimes. Not to say relationships aren't good and beautiful, but I am at a point in my life where I am focusing on my own personal growth, and there is nothing wrong with that. There's something actually very profound in being alone and learning how to express yourself within your own surroundings. It's so easy to get caught up in the questions people ask that we tend to forget that we are each on our own unique journey. Perfection is nothing but a mere perception. Everyone struggles, and everyone has their downfalls and successes. There's no need to be jealous about another's life, but rather use it as an inspirational tool to do better and be better individuals - and most importantly use it as a tool to treat each other better. The thing with questions for me, is that they tend to come off as competition sometimes. As in if you don't answer correctly, the other might mis-judge you. But the harsh reality is that we all judge, we all place competition within ourselves and others, and we are always comparing. Being in New York City for the summer has felt like a repetitive circle at times and it has been hard to see the growth that I have endured. Having two un-paid internships is hard, especially when you live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. Luckily my sister has so graciously taken me in for the summer, and I could not be more thankful for everything she has given me this summer and throughout my whole life. But it's hard nonetheless, and when those questions constantly have you feeling like you're not doing good enough - it makes life seem a little more confusing than it should be. But I think these questions are also a good thing, because it presents us with things we individually need to work on and encourages us to have a little more fire underneath us. I struggle more as I get older with days when I'm not productive, especially in this city where productivity is one of the main aspects I witness all around me. But that rush has encouraged me to get out there to network more, research companies, and get my foot into the real world before I actually have to graduate. I've been asked more times than I can count whether or not I will come back to New York after I graduate, and it's a tough question because I honestly have no idea. A lot can change in a year and although I love a lot of aspects about this city, it's also incredibly depleting at times. They say you should be happy wherever you go, and as I believe in this very much I also believe that your environment is everything. Let's encourage one another to find our fire, fuel it, and push through the sometimes uncomfortable and annoying questions that life brings us - whatever they may be. Without them, there wouldn't be life's vital aspects of learning and growing.
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CreatorAlex Lee Archives
December 2016
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